


Dreams Are My Reality

by Gansey44



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Adam needs to stop being so god-damn gorgeus, Bluesey - Freeform, Bluesey hasn't been confirmed yet, F/M, M/M, Party, Ronan is always pining after Adam, Tad Carruthers is a Pain In Ronan's Ass, pynch - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-08-31 09:33:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8573197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gansey44/pseuds/Gansey44
Summary: It's Halloween, and Ronan isn't impressed with the idea of turning up at Henrietta's only dance club with the gang to find it choked full of Aglionby boys. But when Adam turns up in costume, Ronan's expectations for the night take a definite upswing... But there's only one problem: he isn't the only person who can't take their eyes off Adam. (AdamxRonan)





	1. Ronan POV

Blue Sargent narrowed her eyes in concentration, one knee braced either side of him. "Quit squirming."

Ronan Lynch, sat sullenly on the sofa with his face tipped towards her, gave her a spiky look. "Asshole."

Previously, Blue might have glowered or retorted snappily, but now she understood him enough to understand that, actually- he was enjoying this, so she just rolled her eyes extravagantly at him and continued trying to draw the last scratch mark onto his cheek with her lip liner. "There" she said finally, leaning back and looking smugly at her handiwork. "You're done."

Ronan playfully pushed her back and stood, raising a hand to his face. "How do I look?"

Blue smacked his hand away. "Don't touch it! You'll mess it all up."

They were in Blue's weird-ass little room, her paper-trees stuck to the walls, beads hanging from the door. Rain was pattering softly against the dark window, and some weird jangly music one of the physics was playing was floating up from downstairs. The night was still relatively early, and despite himself Ronan could feel the soft press of expectations in his stomach. The promise of the night was held like a stilled breath, waiting to be released.

"Here." Blue led him to her bedroom mirror; Ronan had to stoop to peer at himself in the glass.

He looked...frightening. Or, more frightening than he usually did. He wore his usual black vest-top and jeans, but artfully ripped and smeared with fake blood. Gory looking scratches lined his pale face, his eyes heavily underlined with dark kohl. Ronan bared his teeth at himself, savagely pleased with his reflection "I look like an extra from a zombie apocalypse movie" he remarked.

"Is that your way of saying I did a good job?" Blue wanted to know, hands on her hips.

Before he could reply, Richard Gansey strolled into the room, narrowly avoiding hitting his head on the low ceiling. "I found my whip" he said grandly, "I'd left it in the back of the Pig." They both looked at him- Ronan noticed a blush spread up Blue's face, and even he had to swallow hard at the sight of Gansey, prince of Henrietta and a brilliant portrait of youth, dressed as Indiana Jones. Complete even with the fucking hat and whip.

Gansey, oblivious to their reactions to his outfit, beamed at Blue. "Jane, you look wonderful!" She was dressed as Emmeline Pankhurst, whoever the fuck that was, wearing a big puffy purple dress that did not suit her at all in Ronan's opinion, and a white sash across her chest that read _votes for women_. "And Ronan you look- urgh, you look _dreadful_." Gansey grimaced.

"Only because you can't deal with anything even relatively frightening, man. You always run out when me and Parrish are watching a horror movie" Ronan replied with a sneer.

"It's Halloween, Gansey" Blue replied. "Looking scary is kind of the idea." She peered behind Gansey, as if expecting someone to be there. "Where's Noah and Adam, anyway? The party starts soon."

"I believe Adam is still holed up in the bathroom with Orla- God knows what she's doing to him in there, and Noah is…oh, hello Noah!" As if summoned, Noah had appeared behind Gansey's shoulder- one moment there was nothing but the streaking shadows of the corridor, the next minute he appeared wearing beige overalls, black rubber boots and holding a hose. Ronan took one look at his costume, realised what it was, and snorted loudly.

Gansey shot him a look, but he needn't have- Blue had already discreetly kicked him in the shin. Shit. Ronan winced, shooting her a look back. For someone so small, she really could kick.

"Um, Noah" Gansey started uncertainly, whilst Noah smiled at him happily, giving them a little twirl in his costume. "You do realise you're dressed a Ghostbuster, don't you?"  
Noah laughed, almost tripping over onto Blue's bed. "Duh, Gansey!"

Gansey exchanged a bewildered and slightly worried look with Blue. "But do you realise what Ghostbusters actually…do?"

"Clues in the name" Ronan supplied helpfully. He wondered what Parrish was doing. Hoped he'd hurry the hell up. Quickly, he managed to side-step Blue's next kick.

"They exterminate ghosts, right?" Noah said cheerfully.

There was a moment's pause, and then Gansey took a breath before he said extra-brightly, "well, ok! Now that we're all sure on that, we really should get going when Parrish re-appears."

Which would be soon. Hopefully.

"I'll go see what monstrosities Orla has done to his poor face" Blue said, leaving the room with a rustle of skirts. It was quite pathetically amusing to watch the look on Gansey's face as he watched her leave. Ronan thought about calling him out on it, because it was the just the two of them (and Noah, but he didn't really count because he already knew everybody's secrets), but it wouldn't have been fair. Ronan was probably just as obvious in his admiration for someone else, however much he tried to hide it.

Outside in the corridor, they all heard a brief snatch of arguing between Orla and Blue- and then abrupt silence at the sound of the bathroom door opening. Ronan heard Blue say something wry and Adam's answering laugh, low and embarrassed. His stomach swooped unexpectedly. Orla then appeared in the doorway to Blue's room, before throwing herself onto the bed as dramatically as possible- with a sigh and one arm thrown over her forehead as if in exhaustion, pulling up her turquoise top to reveal a whole lot of flat brown stomach. "Behold" she said in a low voice, " _my creation_!"

"Orla, really?" came Blue's exasperated voice from the hallway, and then Parrish appeared in the doorway.

He was backlit from the light behind him, creating an interlocking dance of light and shadow across the fine structures on his face. The light almost rendered him something imaginary, like a figment of Ronan's imagination- the finely shaped features, pale skin and eyes lined in dark kohl. The kohl made him look different, older, more exotic. Like a dancer from a nightclub, perhaps, or an artist's muse. Ronan stared, trying to work out what was so different. Orla hadn't done much. All Parrish was wearing was tight dark jeans and a dark shirt- the only differences were his eyes, large and dark-rimmed, his lashes made long and black, and some shinning gold powder swept along his cheekbones.

Ronan stared.

And stared.

Was this real, or was this a dream?

Parrish spoke then, and abruptly he was shoved back into real life. Dropping his eyes, Parrish shifted uncomfortably. "I haven't really got anything else to change into like you guys. I just came back from my shift at-"

"You don't need to change" Blue assured him in a slightly odd voice, at the same instant Orla said indignantly as she sat bolt upright, "excuse me, but what are you inferring? You're _perfect_."

"We're also late" Gansey said, checking his overly-flashy watch. "Everyone ready? It's time to go."

Even with Gansey's parental ushering of them towards the door, it was still another good fifteen minutes until they finally got the door. Blue had to run back for her tall purple hat which she'd forgotten, Jimi wanted to take pictures of them all, and Noah kept petting Parrish's hair in awe, mumbling "pretty" until Orla screeched at him not to touch her handiwork, resulting in Blue snapping something in his defence.

The cold air outside the heat and chaos of 300 Fox Way was a relief for Ronan. Goosebumps rose up on his skin as he watched the trees, looming dark shadows, shake against the night sky in the wind. "Right" said Gansey, opening the driver's door to the Pig. "Ronan, you're following in the BMW, right? Remember to follow me, okay? And that means actually follow, not just zoom on ahead like a maniac."

"Yes, Dad" he muttered impatiently, already sliding into the BMW. It was cool leather against his skin, the engine waiting to spring to life after the smooth insertion of the key.

"Blue, Noah, you're with me. Parrish?" Gansey looked expectantly at Parrish, who stood loitering between the two cars. Ronan was taking great pains not to look at him directly. It felt a little like looking into the sun.

He drummed hectically on the steering wheel with his fingers, closing his eyes. There was something clawing inside of him, desperate to break free. Something that felt even more desperate every time he looked at Parrish.

"I'll go with Lynch" he heard him say, and then a moment later he was sliding into the passenger's seat beside him.

Ronan focused on the mechanics of driving to try and still this racing thing inside of him- turning on the engine, feeling it purr beneath his feet as he slid smoothly into gear, waiting for the Pig to pull out onto the road. He managed about twenty seconds before he cracked and glanced over at Adam- he was looking out into the night, his profile shadowed, eyes strange and dark. The top two buttons of his shirt were undone- Orla's handiwork, definitely, and Ronan could see more pale skin there. His hands tightened unconsciously on the steering wheel.

"I'm surprised you're coming tonight" Adam said quietly, wryly. "Didn't think Fantasy was your type of place."

Ronan curled his lip. Fantasy was Henrietta's only downtown night club, which meant it served awful beers and played awful music and worst of all- was choked full of drunk Aglionby boys trying to dance and look cool. Ronan hated sober Aglionby boys at the best of times- drunk Aglionby boys, on the other hand, were damn near unbearable.

But it was October 31st, and Fantasy was putting on a special Halloween themed night. Gansey had been asked to go by about five different people, and although Blue hadn't been immediately thrilled by the idea she'd eventually said yes and now here they were, dressed up and heading to a nightclub full of fucking Aglionby bastards on Halloween.

Ronan had pretty much been expecting the night to be awful.

Now, with Adam sat beside him, looking like… _that_ , it had taken a definite up-swing.

"Didn't think it was your type of place either" he replied, settling his hand on the gear-stick to move to fourth- Jesus, Gansey drove like an old woman. There was a gap, he could just about shoot past him- Adam put his hand over Ronan's, squeezing it gently. Ronan felt his entire body freeze, his eyes jerking to Adam. "We're about ten minutes away. Think you can bear to keep to a sensible speed for that long?" he said, eyebrows raised. He removed his hand. Ronan didn't change gear. Instead his mind was full of skin on skin, Adam's warm fingers, his long lashes against his cheek…

They got to Fantasy almost unbelievably quickly. The car park was full of huge shiny Aglionby cars, their back windows full of stickers for crew team and various bands they thought were cool and indie. Ronan watched the headlights slice off their elegant fenders as he managed to park beside the Pig.

The five of them walked up the door, where a bored looking bouncer let them in. The pumping bass, echoing Ronan's galloping pulse, could be felt in the soles of their shoes. Strobe lights cut across their vision, blurred and bright, illuminating a mass of dancing bodies. No one looked real- devils and witches, zombies and ghouls, princesses and superheroes. The air hung thick with alcohol and sweat, perfume and desire.

"Well" said Blue in the doorway, looking noticeably less keen to go in than she had been a moment ago.

"Looks fun!" said Noah brightly, his arm linked in hers.

"Excelsior" Gansey said bravely, and led the way into the chaos.


	2. Adam POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the party, Adam is getting quite a lot of attention...not least from Tad Carruthers, much to Ronan's annoyance!

It was an assault on the senses.

Bright, flashing lights, ear-splittingly loud music, hectic smells and sounds. For one terrible moment Adam was sprawled on the dirt, white lights dazzling his vision whilst his father's voice punched through his thoughts, sending them reeling. Then he caught Ronan's eye- the other boy was looking at him calmly, intently, and the image vanished.

Adam swallowed. He was here. He was present. He was real.

Someone yelled, "hey, Gansey boy!" unbelievably loudly to be heard over the din, and Gansey waved back.   
  
"Oh, it's Henry" he said pleasantly, already seeming to be much more at ease. Blue followed him, and Noah followed her.

Then it was just him and Ronan. Adam watched Ronan raise a scathing eyebrow at the fake cobwebs hanging from the ceiling, the sluttier costumes of the dancing girls. It was all so fake, and Ronan hated fake.

"Do you want a drink?" Ronan said finally, flatly, releasing a bored sigh like being here was actually physically painful for him. Blue had done his makeup well- he looked scary with his pale face, eyes dark and strange, the rips in his clothes exposing pale skin. His face walked the line between a work of art and something to be afraid of. Beauty and danger, side by side.

Adam nodded. He hadn't had anything since his lunch break at Boyd's, since Orla had pounced on him the moment he'd arrived at 300 Fox Way. At first, Adam had been confused and a little alarmed as she dragged him into the bathroom, still wearing his greasy overalls. "Are you doing everyone's makeup?" he'd asked her as she lined thick kohl around his eyes.

"No. Just yours" she replied craftily, focusing on her work with a furrowed brow that made her look like Blue.

"Why?" Gifts didn't come for free, Adam knew that.

Then, Orla had met his eye, smirking a little. "I have a feeling that someone will be unable to stop looking at you tonight. Need to look your best for their hungry eyes."  
  
"Is that a physic or just a normal premonition?"

She'd smirked even more, even shaking her head a little at him. "Both." After she was all done, she'd turned him towards the mirror. "Look at yourself, Adam Parrish."  
And he had, and he hadn't recognised himself. His eyes, always seeming so dull to him before that moment, had never been bluer. The makeup made him look different, older, powerful. Unreal.

Now, Ronan nodded and made his way to the bar. He didn't have to push his way through- people simply looked at him and moved out the way, their expressions partly full of awe and partly full of alarm. Adam was quite proud to think that Ronan was his friend then. _Yes, him- the one with so much power, the one who parts people like Moses, the one with a smile like a knife._

Adam couldn't spot the others in the dancing crowd, so he stood awkwardly by the wall to wait for Ronan, partly wishing he'd gone with him. He leaned on the wall, trying to appear casual, disinterested- like how Ronan would look.

"Parrish, hey!" Adam turned his head, surprised. And felt his mood plummet. Beside him stood an eager Tad Carruthers, grinning at him in a vaguely annoying way. He was dressed as Roman general- full toga, breastplate and red cape, helmet under his arm.

"Hey" Adam replied, a little less enthusiastically. Tad also went to Aglionby, and he frequently scared the shit out of Adam by appearing unexpectedly in corridors or behind lockers on his deaf side to smack the back of his head, punch his arm or give an overly exuberant greeting. It was all very _Aglionby_ , and though Adam appreciated his friendliness, he didn't feel comfortable with the attention.

Now, though, Tad was staring at him. His eyes had gone a little wide, and for once in his life, he wasn't speaking _at_ Adam.

"Nice costume" Adam said lamely, to try and dispel how awkward he was feeling. _Why the hell was Ronan taking so long?_

"T-thanks" Tad cleared his throat. "You too. You look really different. In a good way, though man" he added quickly, with a laugh and a familiar punch to Adam's arm. 

"Thanks" said Adam back to him, after a moment. _Make small talk_ , his brain screamed at him. But Aglionby small talk was like a different language to him.  
  
"I haven't seen you here before" Tad went on. He was standing too close. Adam was backed up against the wall. "Though I'm pretty sure I invited you here a few times…" he trailed off. "Are you wearing eye makeup?" he asked abruptly. "Because-"

"Here." All of a sudden, thank God, Ronan had abruptly returned. He shoved a drink into Adam's hand. Tad, upon seeing Ronan, immediately froze up. Ronan stared back at him, unflinching.

"See you later, okay" Tad said to Adam quickly, with another arm-punch, before he moved back off into the crowd. The way he said it wasn't really a question, it was a guarantee. Unfortunately.

Ronan glanced at Adam, raising his eyebrows. "Didn't know you two were friendly."

"We're not." Ronan knew this. He was just acting dumb, trying to feel out the situation. He looked a little pissed, actually.

Ronan looked at down at his drink, mouth twisted. He'd gotten Adam a coke- remembering he didn't drink alcohol. Ever. Adam wanted to thank him for remembering, but couldn't think of a way to say it that wouldn't sound odd. "I leave you alone for one minute" Ronan muttered wryly, "and…" he stopped talking abruptly, shaking his head. "Let's go find a booth or something."

He led the way through the dancing bodies to the booths lining the far wall. Adam tried to follow him, but people kept stopping in his path, and he felt awkward trying to push past intertwined or gyrating couples.

He bumped into two girls wearing short crop tops, both of them giggling as they flipped their hair out their faces. "Sorry" gasped the one dressed as Katniss, laughing, and somehow her hand was on his arm.

Adam heard someone clear their throat- Ronan was stood in front of them, waiting for him. "Sorry" he said to the girls, before hurrying past them, hearing them giggle behind him. His cheeks felt hot.

Ronan managed to slide into booth just as one was vacated, placing his beer on the sticky vinyl table. Adam sat beside him; watching Ronan nod his head to the beat. The hooks of his tattoo poked out from the top of his t-shirt, looking dangerous in the flickering lights. "I've been here five minutes and I already want to leave" Ronan announced bluntly, taking a sip of his beer. " _Urgh_. Shit." He made a face and put it back down.

Adam laughed at him. "That good, huh? Anyway, the other guys must be having a good time. We should stay a little while for them."

"Are you enjoying yourself? With Tad?"

Adam rolled his eyes, wondering why Ronan kept returning to this. Ronan ducked his eyes, glaring at his drink. "Don't be a dick. You know I find Tad annoying."  
  
Ronan looked back up, holding his gaze. "Do I know that?"

Neither of them looked away. Adam could feel the beat of the music in his chest.

"Fresh blood!" They both looked up, startled- Hugo Wentworth-Fox, the leading competitor against Gansey for the title of Aglionby's most pompous name, was leering over their booth with a wide grin and his drink held aloft. He was dressed as Luke Skywalker, his hair gloriously swept over his forehead. "Hello, gentlemen- I do believe I've never seen you before at this wonderful establishment."

"Can't think why" Adam muttered dryly, just for Ronan, who sniggered.

" _Adam Parrish_ " Hugo boomed. His voice was obnoxiously loud even when sober- now when drunk he sounded like a foghorn. "What in holy hell happened to you?"

Adam felt faintly alarmed. Had he smudged his makeup everywhere? Or perhaps he just looked like a complete idiot- perhaps that was why a lot of people seemed to be staring at him.

Without warning, Hugo slid into the booth beside Adam, sitting flush against him. On his other side, Adam felt Ronan's leg jerk- their knees knocked together. "Your costume" Hugo boomed, staring at Adam. "It's…" he licked his lips. "Why on earth have you never done that thing with your eyes before?"

Heat was rushing into Adam's face. Was he being mocked? He couldn't tell. People like Hugo he found damn near impossible to understand. At least with Ronan you knew exactly where you stood.

Speaking of Ronan- was he pressing his leg into Adam's? Hugo was still talking to him, but Adam couldn't really listen because he was too distracted by Ronan. He could feel him simmering. Getting ready to lunge at Hugo.

Adam was severely wishing he hadn't come tonight.

"I'm going to the bathroom" he muttered, standing up abruptly.

" _Outrage_!" Hugo boomed. "I thought you said you'd dance with me?"

Adam had no such recollection of saying that, but he shrugged and said "maybe"- Ronan looked _murderous_ , before slipping away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey let me know what you think! :) I liked writing this chapter, Tad Carruthers is such an hilarious character lol


	3. RONAN POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronan plucks up the courage to ask Adam to dance...:')

After Adam had gone, Ronan said quietly, "you have three seconds to leave before I punch your teeth down your throat."

"Woah, man. He's not your property" Hugo retorted loudly, but he got up pretty speedily all the same. "No need to be so fucking _anti-social_ " he remarked to himself, before lurching away.

Ronan sat there, simmering and furious with himself, with Adam, with how every single straight girl and gay guy in this place was gazing at him like he was God because yes, he fucking looked like one tonight. And always, in Ronan's opinion.

He was relieved when a grumpy-looking Blue arrived, taking Hugo's place on the booth. "Having the time of your life?" he asked her wryly.

"No" she said, sitting cross-legged with a sigh. "Gansey is speaking all-Aglionby to his crew friends, and I was speaking to some nice girls about my costume, before I realised they were only talking to me because they saw me come in with Adam and they wanted me to introduce them to him." She sighed. "At least five different people have come up to me and asked me who my gorgeous friend is. It's very annoying."

"Mmm" said Ronan, non-committedly. He wanted to punch something. The object of choice would probably be Tad Carruthers's face.

But perhaps his 'mmm' wasn't as non-committal as he'd hoped, because Blue appraised him with a funny look on her face. "Everything okay there? Not jealous at all?"  
He gave her his most withering look.

Blue laughed, holding up her hands in surrender. "Fine, fine. It's up to you. I'm going to try and find Gansey and persuade him to dance with me." She waved at him and walked away, leaving Ronan alone again.

His heart did a funny thing inside his chest when Adam appeared, strangely flushed- he wondered who had tried to chat him up this time. Ronan could see each of his dark eyelashes from here.

Damn it.

This had to stop.

Immediately, Ronan jumped to his feet, pushing Adam into the middle of the crowd. "What are we doing?" Adam shouted to be heard over the music.

As they passed people, heads turned to stare, eyes widened. Adam Parrish was the best looking thing in this whole place, and people noticed. Ronan noticed how he was cringing at all the attention, probably misunderstanding it as judgement. Ronan only stopped when they were right in the centre of the dance floor, where it was hot and wild, the music insane and throbbing. "Dancing" he grinned wickedly. And he started to move- letting the beat flood through his body, his arms in the air. Just letting the music guide him.

Adam was _staring_ at him. He was stood completely stock-still in the midst of the swaying, jumping crowd, eyes wide. "I don't-"

Ronan laughed, drunk on the music and Adam standing so close to him. "This is called having fun, Parrish. It's what normal people do instead of studying every damn minute of the day." He gave Adam's shoulder a little shove. "Don't think. Just move."

For a moment, Adam just continued to stand there. Ronan began to doubt himself- _Christ what had he done, he probably looked like an utter moron_ \- and then Adam just took a deep breath and let himself go.

And he was _moving_. In a way that Ronan had never seen before. Hips gyrating, his eyes shut, arms in the air and lights flashing over the beautiful lines of his face. Perhaps unconsciously, he'd moved even closer to Ronan so that they were dancing as one person, fingers grazing skin.

Sparks were flying inside Ronan, catching on Adam's skin and exploding. Together, they were _electric_.

Movement behind Adam caught Ronan's eye- Tad Carruthers had spotted them and was moving through the crowd, the lights glancing off his idiotic Roman general helmet. He was staring at Adam in the same way Ronan was probably staring at him.

There were only a few seconds before he reached them. Ronan didn't think. He didn't have time. He simply reached out and rested his hands on Adam's hips. Adam's eyes flashed open- the blue of them startling against the rim of elegant black kohl. "What are you doing?" he said.

Ronan ducked his head towards Tad. "One of your admirers is coming. Unless you'd rather dance with him?" He didn't mean to sound curt, but it was his self-consciousness that did that. Adam glanced behind him, his face twisting when he saw Tad.

Then, he simply held Ronan's gaze, a funny little smile on his lips and danced even closer against him. Blood was roaring in Ronan's ears, his skin a constellation of nerve endings. Across the dance floor, he caught Tad Carruthers's eye. Naked disappointment was written all over the other boy's face as he watched them- when he noticed Ronan staring at him, he quickly turned away and disappeared back through the crowd. Ronan felt a small self-satisfied smile appear on his face. It had worked.

He didn't know how long they'd been dancing- somehow time had slipped and lost all meaning, when Adam leaned forward and said into his ear, "I need a drink." He sounded breathless. They were both flushed.

Ronan nodded and started to lead the way towards the bar. A hand slid down his arm until it reached his hand, wrapping their fingers together. Ronan's head jerked back to see Adam smiling at him, waiting.

Was this real, or was this a dream?

Ronan was about to explode.

There was a queue two people deep at the bar, so the two of them stood and waited. Ronan expected Adam to drop his hand, but he didn't. The entire length of their arms were touching. "You were right" Adam said, leaning in close to his ear.

Ronan glanced at him, something catching in his chest. "About what?"

"It was fun." Adam smiled at him. It was completely shameless, but there was still something new and cautious about it, like a flower just starting to uncurl in the springtime. "And that was smart of you. To start dancing when Tad was coming, I mean."

Ronan said nothing.

"Parrish!" boomed a voice. Hugo-fucking-Fox had reappeared, grinning at Adam like he was going to eat him. "You owe me a dance. Right now."  
  
Adam moved his hand from Ronan's to wrap it around his waist. "I appreciate the offer, but…"

Hugo's brow furrowed, until his gaze fell on the arm around Ronan's waist. "Oh. _Oh_ " he said, and holy hell, was he actually _blushing?_ "You two…? Well, fine. Another time then." With a final grin that fell off his face when he saw Ronan's expression, he slipped away.

Adam released a breath, dropping the arm around Ronan's waist as they reached the bar. Something cold and sharp slithered into Ronan's chest. Reality, then. Not a dream.  
  
After they'd got their drinks, they moved back into the crowd and were quickly met by Gansey, Blue and Noah. "Oh, there you two are!" Gansey said cheerfully. "Adam, have you seen Hugo? I think he was looking for you."

"Yeah, I saw him" Adam replied, with a half-glance at Ronan. Ronan said nothing.

"Can we go now?" Blue said. "Not to be a buzzkill, but I am sweltering in this dress. And there's only so much Aglionby banter I can take."

"Don't you have to endure Aglionby banter with us every day?" Gansey enquired.

Blue nudged him and said, "but you're different." The look on Gansey's face after she said that was brighter than the strobe lights.

"I agree with Sargent" Ronan said, and it was only when he spoke and everyone looked at him in surprise that he realised, all of a sudden, how angry he was. Every one of his emotions that wasn't happiness was anger. "This place is shit. Let's go."

Outside, the stars were cold and brutal above their heads. Gansey, Blue and Noah got into the Pig and waved goodbye. Yoda and Catwoman were making out near Ronan's car; he told them to get lost but in less polite terms before he and Parrish climbed in.

It felt like the rest of the night had been a blur, and only now Ronan was returning to reality. Sitting in the cold, dark enclosed space felt like finally waking up. He drove fast, the engine loud under his feet, pushing the car hard. Trying to sort out the tangle of feelings inside.

He could feel Adam watching him. Wondering why he suddenely seemed so angry all of a sudden. They pulled into the lot of St Agnes in silence, the engine falling quiet as they sat in the darkness. Ronan could hear Adam breathing. "Are you coming in?" he asked finally. "I have a Trig test on Monday."

Although Ronan didn't give a shit about his own education, he knew how important Adam's was to him, so he often tested him before big exams. He'd stay late into the night, helping him study until Adam's eyelids began to droop and Ronan put the book down and pretended to sleep on the floor beside his bed. Now, though, a part of him longed to get away from Parrish. He could barely look at him. In his mind, all he could see over and over was Adam dropping the arm from around his waist as soon as Hugo had disappeared. "No" he said shortly. "I'm not."

Adam sat staring at him for a moment, before he said irritably, "why are you so angry all of a sudden? Where did this even come from?"

Ronan said nothing. He wanted to punch something. It was what he always did when he felt himself caring too much.

Adam kept waiting, hand on the door, like he was waiting for Ronan to change his mind. Still, Ronan said nothing.

"Fine" said Adam in a small voice, sounding pissed. "I'm not going to even try and understand you this time. But I thought…" he released all his breath in a rush, shaking his head. "Damn you, Ronan." He got out the car and slammed the door, disappearing into the shadows.

For a moment longer, Ronan sat in the silence of the BMW, battling with himself. A part of him was screaming at himself to run after Parrish and pin him against the wall, like he'd wanted to for months. The other part just said flatly, _it was an act, you idiot_.

Adam had acted like he wanted him only to keep his other awkward admirers at bay. He'd said so himself. _And that was smart of you. To start dancing when Tad was coming, I mean._ Just because it had felt real, didn't mean it was. Ronan leaned his head on the steering wheel. _Get it together._

Then, with an angry sigh, he shoved the car into gear and squealed out the drive.


	4. Adam POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes Ronan singing. In Gaelic. Just thought I should let y'all know... :')

After his work shift at Boyd's finished the following Monday evening, Adam pulled into the driveway outside Monmouth Manufacturing. The night was already cold and dark, the wind throwing handfuls of leaves against his window screen as he stepped out and rubbed his hands over his goose-pimpled arms. He was wearing a pair of clean blue overalls and a white t-shirt, partly because he felt tired and achy and couldn't be bothered to find any other clothes. And partly because Ronan always stared at him more when he was wearing overalls.

Or maybe Adam just liked to _think_ Ronan stared at him more when he was wearing overalls. Honestly, after Friday night he understood Ronan even less than he had before. When they'd been dancing, eyes skimming, Ronan's strong hands holding his hips, their bodies close and hot as something strange and rollicking happened in Adam's stomach, he'd thought-

And then all of a sudden, Ronan had been furious and hated him without reason, and it no longer mattered what Adam had thought. Impatient with himself, Adam gave himself a mental shake. Boyd had had to gently remind him to keep his mind on the task today at work several times- his thoughts kept slipping to Ronan, causing him to make stupid, clumsy mistakes.

Adam was usually very good at problem solving- with his life, he had to be.

And the only problem he couldn't solve right now was Ronan Lynch.

Upstairs, the door into Monmouth was open as usual. They'd planned this movie night a few days ago, and Adam walked in to see Blue and Gansey shoving a large couch in front of wide plasma TV he hadn't even known Gansey owned. The couch was piled high with blankets and cushions, and three huge bowls of popcorn sat waiting on the floor. "Adam!" said Gansey joyfully upon seeing him. "You're here! How was work?"

"Fine" Adam said, watching with some amusement as Gansey wiped his brow after heaving the couch into place. For someone with such good shoulders, he seemed to tire easily. "Do you need me to do anything?"

"I think we're ready, actually, if you want to go and fetch Ronan from his man cave" said Blue, kneeling down in front of the TV with a DVD in her hand. Gansey and Adam looked at each other. No one entered Ronan's room. Ever. That was the rule, else you risked your own life.

"You can do it" they said at the same time. Gansey laughed. "No, seriously, you do it. He's less likely to bite your head off if you do it."

Still trying to work out the reasoning behind this statement, Adam obeyed and walked over to Ronan's door. After debating whether to knock for a moment, he realised he was still quite annoyed about Friday night so just ended up shoving it open.

Ronan Lynch was shirtless. That was Adam's first thought. The second was surprise- he was sat cross-legged on his bed, singing softly to Chainsaw in Gaelic, white earphones snaking up his bare skin. Adam knew he was staring, but he couldn't help himself.

He'd never seen Ronan shirtless before. In his head, he'd never looked so…elegant. Pretty, was almost the word. Thinly corded muscle, smooth pale skin, his tattoo flowering over his back. And his voice, before his mouth snapped shut when he saw Adam, was low and soulful and…beautiful. For a moment Adam almost burst out laughing, because _beautiful_ and _Ronan Lynch_ were two words he'd never thought he'd associate with the other in his head.

"Fuck, Parrish" Ronan muttered, putting Chainsaw on the bed, yanking out his headphones and pulling on a t-shirt all in one smooth motion. He looked up, glaring, and damn- was he embarrassed? "Knocking. It's what people normally do when they enter someone's private space."

"Sorry" said Adam, but he wasn't and he didn't really sound like he was, either. Seeing Ronan again suddenly bought back his swirling confusion and hurt over Friday night, and perhaps some of it had crept without his permission into his voice, because Ronan looked at him for a moment, something about his expression unguarded. Adam held his breath.

Then Blue yelled, "hey- you two! You're going to miss the start." Ronan's face immediately changed back into his unimpressed sneer, and Adam immediately missed what he had glimpsed beneath it. The two of them walked back into the main living space, where Blue and Gansey were sat obnoxiously close on the couch but trying to be casual about it. Noah had since appeared, and was sat on Blue's other side, which suddenly reduced the amount of space on the couch. Ronan stopped. "We can't all fit on that thing."

"Well we're just going to have to sit close" Blue said, pointedly not looking at Gansey.

Adam turned the lights out, plunging them into darkness. Outside, the world looked dark and cold, but inside Monmouth it was warm and cosy, the light from the TV flickering over their faces. He sat down beside Gansey, and Ronan stood there hesitantly, looking at the very small space between Adam and the end of the couch.  
Unflinchingly, Adam stared back up him. It was a dare.

"You're blocking the TV" complained Noah, throwing a cushion at him.

"Asshole" Ronan muttered, but he sat down anyway. Adam heard all his breath suck in. They were very close- thighs squished together, elbow to elbow. He could feel Ronan trying to position himself so that as little of his body as possible was touching Adam's, but there was nowhere to go.

The opening credits ended. It was odd little film, an indie set in France with subtitles- Blue's choice, no surprise. Adam could feel a warm feeling inside his chest as he looked at the faces of his friends; the film wasn't very interesting to him, but he loved the feeling of the five of them being close, curled up under the blankets and simply enjoying being together. It made him feel warm and _full_ in a way that he hadn't in a while. Noah was resting his head on Blue's shoulder, a blanket around the two of them and Gansey, who was watching Blue instead of the film. Adam glanced at Ronan- as soon as he did, Ronan's eyes skittered away. Something inside of Adam thrilled. He'd been staring at him. "Popcorn?" he said in a low voice.

"No thanks" Ronan said without looking away from the screen, jaw set. His whole body was stiff, highly strung against Adam's like he was preparing to bolt at any moment. It was like he was still angry, and it was driving Adam crazy because _what the hell did he have to be angry about?_ What had Adam _done_ , for God's sake?  
All of a sudden, Ronan let out a breath all in one go and sprung up from the sofa like he couldn't get away fast enough. Then he was on his way to the kitchen/bathroom, leaving cold air rushing to meet one half of Adam's body.

"You ok?" Gansey asked in concern, glancing behind at Ronan.

"Just getting a drink" he muttered, before ducking into the kitchen.

Gansey and Adam exchanged a look, both of which said- _yeah, right._

 


	5. Ronan's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last chapter guys!! Thank you so much for all the comments they make me really happy :) I hope you all enjoy the ending

_Shit._

And _damn.  
_  
And _holymotherfuckingjesus- Ronan, get a grip._

In the safety of the kitchen/bathroom, Ronan closed his eyes tight, covering his face with one hand. Inside his chest, his heart was like a fist, and his mind was a blur of the warmth of Adam's thigh against his, Adam in his stupid overalls… Adam Adam Adam.

He felt completely undone. Since Friday night, he'd had a whole weekend to try and get his head together, to remind himself what was dream and what was reality. Dream: he'd danced with Adam and it been so hot and perfect and Adam had wanted him too. Reality: Adam had danced with him to make his other annoying admirers stay away, just like he'd held his hand and put an arm round his waist.

Ronan had one main priority in life, which came before everything else he held dear: honesty. And if he was honest with himself, he knew that Adam hadn't done those things because he liked him, and so it would just be unfair- both to Adam and to himself, to continue the dream any longer. Adam Parrish was straight. Ronan was not. And damn, he was just going to have to fucking deal with it.

He was feeling so damn much and he didn't a have a damn idea what to do with it all, so he opened the fridge door and slammed it. Then he slammed it again, harder. And again.

"You done?"

Ronan spun. Adam Parrish was stood leaning in the doorway, arms crossed, his overalls rolled down to his waist. His expression was wryly amused, but it went beneath that- Ronan could see hurt, and maybe a little anger. Ronan opened the door again, got out a can of coke, and shut it again- quietly this time. He popped the cap and took a drink, feeling Adam watching him.

"Are you going to say anything?"

"About what?"

Adam let out an impatient huff of breath. Beyond him, Ronan could hear the overlapping voices of the TV. "About… _that_." He flapped his hand behind him. "About Friday night."

"What do you want me to say?" Ronan kept his gaze on his can, jaw set. "I had a good time, if that's what you mean."

"With me?"

"What do you mean? I was with you most of the night."

"Jesus _Christ_ , Ronan!" Adam came forward and took the can from his hand, putting it firmly on the counter behind them. Ronan looked him in surprise, too shocked to even censor his emotions. "Are you going to speak in interrogatives this whole time and pretend you don't know what I'm really asking? If you had such a good time, why did you get so weird and angry afterwards? What…" Adam trailed off, his eyes dropping like he was suddenely embarrassed. "What did I do?"

Ronan swallowed hard. His heart was literally about to burst out his chest. "I wasn't really angry with you" he admitted quietly, unable to look at Adam. "I was angry with me. I was…jealous." He let the word fall into the silence. No way to take it back.

"Of Tad? Hugo?" Adam let out a burst of surprised laughter. "I told you, I don't care about those guys. They're so annoying."

Ronan struggled. The words were all sat waiting on his tongue, but actually saying them felt like someone was choking him. Adam waited patiently though, watching him with honey-coloured eyes. "I felt like…it felt like you were only dancing with me to make them stay away, okay? And that's fair enough, because they are damn annoying, but it just pissed me off." He took a really deep breath, squeezed his eyes shut. "Because I really fucking like you."

He heard Adam's breath suck in. There was a riot in Ronan's brain- _well done asshole, you've done it now, say goodbye to even being his friend-_  
  
"You're wrong" Adam said quietly. Then, louder, "you're wrong."

Ronan's eyes snapped open. Adam was staring at him intently- he couldn't look away. "Ronan- you…like me?" Adam swallowed. "You're…you could have anyone. Anyone you wanted."

Ronan's voice came out rough. "But I want you."

His pulse was something alive, he could barely think-

Was this a dream, or was this reality?

"I didn't do that stuff to keep the other guys away" Adam whispered. "I did it because I like you…too." And then, without warning, he leaned forward and softly pressed his lips to Ronan's.

And it was like floating, and the first summer thunderstorm after a heat wave, and the Barn's at night, and it was the way Ronan felt as he crushed the accelerator under his foot. It was everything, all at once.

Then Adam was kissing him deeper, harder, and Ronan was backing him against the counter, hands braced either side of his hips. One his hands then snaked up over Adam's chest, before curling in his hair. Adam tasted sweet and warm and perfect, and everything inside of Ronan was exploding and it was colour and light and this was reality, this was reality, this was reality.

After a moment they broke apart, breathing heavily as they leaned against each other's foreheads. "Am I your first kiss?" Adam asked softly with a little smile, his hands pressed against Ronan's chest.

Ronan could feel the blush spreading up from his chest, up his neck, onto his cheeks. When the hell had he ever _blushed?_ Adam just laughed, low in his throat, and kissed his cheeks, his neck, his forehead.

And then, they heard a little surprised "oh!" behind them.

They sprang apart sheepishly to see Blue, who didn't look very surprised, just amused with her arms crossed. She raised an eyebrow at them. Adam grinned at her, and Ronan couldn't help but grin a little too. "Jane?" they all heard Gansey call. "What are you all doing in there? I'm coming-"

"No!" Blue called back quickly. "No, you don't need to. I mean, it's fine. We're all coming now. They were just getting a drink."

"Actually" said Adam, seizing Ronan's hand and pulling him out the kitchen/bathroom, "we were kissing. If you were curious." He squeezed Ronan's hand.

Noah burst into giggles, winking like a conspirator at Ronan when he looked at him. Gansey was turned away from the TV towards them, just opening and closing his mouth, eyes huge. "Well that's…that's…Jesus Christ. Um, I'm happy for you? Is that what I'm supposed to say?"

Blue just laughed, coming back to sit beside him. Adam continued holding Ronan's hand as they took their places again, pulling his hand into his lap and stroking his thumb over the back of Ronan's palm, resting his head on his shoulder.

Ronan closed his eyes, feeling a smile of genuine happiness of his lips.

Reality, reality, reality.

 


End file.
